Praise the Lord. It gives me an immense pleasure to stand before you all and glorify Jesus’ name. In my family, I’m the 4th daughter and I'm from Hindu background. Nobody rejoiced for me when I was born. My grandfather said to kill me but my mother did not accept it. My grandfather never touched me or carried me in his arms. Within a few days after I was born, my mother got an attack from Satan and throwed me down. Later the doctor checked me and nothing happened to me.
Satan has planned to kill me in many ways until now. Today I want to tell you a testimony. God turned my life upside down. Jesus has delivered me from fear of death and bondages. I want to share with you three important times in my life when Jesus delivered me. When I was 7 years old, I used to have doubt, fear and stress about heaven and hell. I was not like any other kids. My stress and anxiety were high. At age 10, Jesus met me. Until then, no one had preached about Jesus or salvation to me, but one Sunday, I came across a church or some sort of worship gathering. I entered there. My fear and anxiety were lifted and I was delivered. Peace entered into my heart. From that moment on, I became a Christian and I kept it secret from my Hindu family. Now I want to tell you about the second important moment that happened in my faith journey. When I was 17 years old, I had a dream about a big snake which was talking to me. From that time, I started to have fear about death and darkness. I started to hear a voice saying to me that I will die soon. I will die soon. The same voice would also say to me, why I eat and why I study if I am going to die soon. I did not know who to turn to. So I was murmuring and crying alone by myself. Then one day, a man of God prayed for me and from that moment, everything changed. Jesus touched me again. Now I want to share the third moment that impacted my faith. Recently, for the last four months, I don’t know why, but I lost peace and joy in my heart again. I heard some voice telling me that I don't need this life. Because I no longer had peace, I started hating my life and moving towards death. I have thought about killing myself many times. I was asking Jesus Lord to take my life. I was saying that I don't like this worldly life. Please take me; there is no peace. I didn’t have the fear of death anymore. I'm done with everything. There is no one to deliver. It’s better I will die. I was thinking about these things repeatedly. I was hearing the voice of Satan telling me to kill myself. But God sent a man of God from our church. He prayed for me. After that, the suicidal thought and the voice in my head completely dissappeared in Jesus’ name. When I was writing this testimony, God has given the thought to me. ,Jesus died on the cross and rose up after 3 days. God has overcome the boundage of death. 3 days from death to life. I aam given 3 moments rising from death to life just as I shared. I am a living testimony before you all of the Word in Psalm 18:16-17. He sent from on high ,he took me pulling me out of Great Waters he made me free from my strong hater, and from those who were against me because they were stronger than I. I received baptism at a pentecostal church in Nagoya 2 years ago and accepted Jesus as my Saviour. And after moving to Kobe, I recently became a member at Kobe Union Church. I thank the church and Bro. Roy for giving me the opportunity to stand and testify the name of Lord Jesus Christ today. Amen.
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Today, I will be speaking on Exodus v. 1-6 but will read up to verse 12 for context. We will be looking at Moses and the burning bush, but the focus is not on Moses but on Who God is and What God is about. Because we are created in God's image, we need to strive to emulate God; all be it imperfectly.
I. We know from the very beginning that Moses is God's chosen instrument to rescue his people. But why? It is not because he is a great speaker. He knows his gifts and knows that there are other people more talented than he is at communicating. He is a person not accepted by his own people (Jews) but also rejected by his adopted (Egyptian) people. One reason why cross-cultural people should be drawn to Moses is that he straddles two cultures. He is a criminal, having killed a guard that probably could not defend himself against a royal from Pharaoh's family. So why? It is not like he isn't scared. (Maybe if he wasn’t scared, that would make Moses incapable of being God's instrument because we know from scripture that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.). No, it was not his deficiencies or his abilities that made him God’s choice. It was his potential that God saw. It is a simple truth that God does not simply see us for who we are or even what we have done but for who we can become in him. II. That is where we pick up the story of Moses. He has run away to the wilderness after killing a guard. He has gone from one of the most powerful men on the planet to caring for sheep, a boy's job. He didn't do it for just a year. When we watch the movie The Ten Commandments (Which I love), the time Moses spends tending sheep is like one minute in a 3-hour movie before he sees the burning bush. In reality, the scriptures say he spent 40 years tending sheep. 40 years is a long time in a dead-end job. Not only that, but the bible makes it very clear that they were not even his sheep; they were his father in laws sheep. Not the most productive guys in the world. So, we have a murderer stuck in a dead-end job and no prospects of hope for more in his future. Days when Moses had silk sheets, servants, respect as part of Pharaoh's family, were in the past. I have a friend. (I know that is a shocker). He has a normal expat story. He came to Japan 15 or so years back, fresh out of university. Worked as an Eikaiwa teacher at a language school. Met a girl, fell in love, had a kid and now feels stuck at the Eikaiwa job. He has no higher degrees and feels stuck. Guess what? Moses knew just how he felt. My message is to keep looking for God to show up. III. The desert, the wilderness, strips away the veneer of our lives. Only if we embrace the desert, (who we are and what we have done to get there) can we grow from it. The apostle Paul assumes that growth through suffering is part of a Christian's DNA. Romans 5:3-5, "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.". When we go through challenges, we need to know that God not only sees us (like he sees the pain of his people) but will care for us because God wants to develop us. Stagnation is part of life but should not be part of the Christian life. When I stagnate, I know that I am living more as the world wants me to live than Christ does. IV. I've never been in the desert physically but have been there emotionally and spiritually, and let's just be honest. It sucks. When we came back to Japan 12 years ago, Stephanie had a position, but I didn't have a job lined up. Looking for work and getting turned down for jobs that I was overqualified for threw me for a loop. I got down, felt depressed, and gained some serious weight. I stopped exercising and felt lost. So, I know what a desert feels like emotionally. Your desert might be different from my desert. But do not give up. Don't stop doing healthy things. Don't stop reading the word. Don't stop worshiping the Lord. Don't stop finding fellowship. The instinct is to pull back, but that is not healthy. V. So, Moses is in the desert doing a boring job, and he sees a light. Actually, for Moses, it meant danger. In the desert, fire means danger. The three major dangers in the wilderness besides lack of water are fires, flash floods, and predators. Fires are probably the biggest danger in the Book Shepherding for Dummies. Lesson #1 is don't go toward danger. Avoid it. The sheep will thank you. So, I wonder how long the bush burned until Moses built up the courage to investigate. Moses calls it a "Strange sight." Remember, he had been shepherding for a while. Did it burn for a day, a few days, or a week before he goes and checks it out? This fire that burns but does not consume. Fire is mentioned 4 times in the story of Exodus here in chapter 3 with the bush, in the pillars of fire that move before the people to direct and protect them, in chapter 24, the fire on the mountain of God when Moses went to meet God, and finally in the final verse of chapter 40 when the fire rested on the tabernacle. All representing the Glory of God. The holiness of God, The presents of God. VI. The fires of men burn you up. At Nojiri, over the winter holiday, the cabin I stayed at had a wood-burning stove. At the end of our week, I cleaned out the stove and threw away all the ashes of all the burned-up wood. The world, people, companies, and sometimes even churches burn people up, and all that is left are ashes. BUT NOT WITH GOD! In Acts 2, when the fire appeared above the heads of the disciples, it did not burn their heads. I dare to say that no bush in history was as healthy as the bush on the side of the mountain. When you are working, praying, and serving in the Spirit of the Lord, it is so energizing, and not only is there no waste or ashes from the fire God lights in your heart, but there is more energy and passion. Jesus said, "I have come that you may have life, and have it fully." John 10:10. VII. As Moses approaches the bush, the Angle of the Lord speaks to him, calling him his name. "Moses, Moses." Like Isaiah (6), when God asks, "Whom shall I send?" Isaiah says, "Here I am, send me." Moses, like any good student, responds, "Here am I." What is the saying, "90% of success is showing up." Not sure if that is true because I have a few students who have not missed a day of class this year but are not succeeding. But anyway. Moses is where he needs to be. Are you? Physically? / Emotionally? / Spiritually / Relationally? When God calls you, do you say, "Here I am," or are you looking for the next boat out of town like Jonah? VIII. If I had another two weeks, I would go into looking at the angel of the Lord. So, if you want to talk to me about this angel, it is interesting. First, angel, in Hebrew and Greek, simply means messenger. But unlike the angels Michael and Gabriel, this angel speaks in first person for God. That is why it gets a little tricky. Did Moses meet God or the angel of the Lord in the bush? The simple answer is both. IX. God tells Moses two things. One "Stop in the name of Love." No, that is a song. "Stop and do not come any closer." Moses is not yet ready to go up the mountain and into the fire. But God will get him there. None of us start as finished products. I am not the man that I was, but I am not the man that I will become IF (and it is a big IF). If I continue to follow God. The second thing God tells him is, "Take off your shoes because you are standing on holy ground." By the way, this is only the second time in the scriptures that the word "holy" is used. Holy means "Set apart as special." As much as God wants to draw Moses to Himself. We like Moses, have to show respect and humility. God has standards. In the wedding feast parable that Jesus tells (Matt 22), The king does not allow some guests into the wedding because they are unwilling to put on the wedding clothes that the king provides. This is not Bob, Tom, or Akihiro you are talking to. This is the Creator of Heaven and Earth. Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, Protector, and in Christ, even a friend. But respect is a part of being a follower. If we call God Lord, that makes us not the lord. DAAA. And as not the Lord, we are called to show respect. I remember when the baseball player from the Hanshin Tigers and his family attended KUC. Some people wouldn't approach and talk to him because he was the star of the local team. I did not know him well, but we talked a few times during coffee time. He seemed like a normal good guy. If some showed such respect to a sports star, how much more should we show to the creator of the universe? When we approach God in his house. When we read the scriptures, in our service, and prayer life, too many of us approach God with the attitude of, "Thank you for the meat, let's eat" instead of a sense of awe and wonder. A while ago. I was going through a really dry time in my prayer life (it happens). A friend told me to try getting on my knees to show respect. It really worked. How do you humble yourself before the Lord? For wherever God is, is holy ground. Whatever God commissions is a holy task. We shame ourselves when we take these things lightly. Those that humble themselves will be lifted up but the haughty and the proud will be turned away. (Matt 23:12) X. Finally, for today, we will end with verse 6 and not get into the five reasons why Moses sees himself as unworthy or unable to accomplish God's task. But since I am not preaching next week, let's just say Moses is right on each one of his objections except for the fact that God will be with him. "If God is for us who. (Really think about it) can be against us" (Rom 8:31). But back to verse 6. After being told to stop and take off his shoes. God introduces himself. Telling Moses, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob''. The Jews back in Egypt might not accept Moses as one of theirs. The Egyptians might not accept Moses as one of theirs. But here is the good news. God does. If you have committed your life to Christ. God accepts you and knows you. Moses, you are accepted as part of the family. It does not matter what anyone else thinks; you are accepted. And you can be accepted as well. Let’s prayer. I don’t know much about fishing although I do like eating fish. Sushi is my favorite. Long time ago, my now grown sons liked to fish near Lake Nojiri in Nagano ken. We would go to Asunaru Fish Farm which also had an onsen and we would fish with bamboo poles provided for us and catch the fish in a human-made pond where there were a lot of hungry fish. After catching the fish, the fish farm place, which was also a restaurant, would clean and cook the fish for us while we took our onsen (hot springs bath) and once we finished our bath and came out, the fish would be nicely prepared for us along with miso soup, tsukemono, and a salad. So, for those of you who do fish, this is probably not considered “real” fishing. But we enjoyed it.
In 1990, I was in the Holy Land for an International Pastors’ Conference and visited the Sea of Galilee which is really a lake. Here is a map so you can see it’s a lake. It is called the Sea of Galilee by tradition. At 209 meters below sea level, it is the lowest freshwater lake on Earth and the second-lowest lake in the world after the Dead Sea, a saltwater lake. The lake is also known on modern maps as Lake Galilee or Lake Tiberias. While I was at the Sea of Galilee with some other pastors, I saw the fishermen fishing. They were catching Barbels, Sardines and “Saint Peter’s Fish” which you can see here in this photo. I tried “Saint Peter’s Fish” and it was very good! In our scripture for today, we read a story about fishermen. Jesus is calling the fishermen to be “fishers of people.” Jesus used the metaphor of fishing for people as it was easily understood by these fishermen and villagers alike. In those days, fishing was a popular trade on the Sea of Galilee and the most common occupation for people residing in the small villages of Capernaum and Bethsaida. People there depended on fishing. It was there at the Sea of Galilee where Jesus called the fisherman to be his disciples and this story appears in Matthew 4:18-22; Mark 1:16-20, and Luke 5:1-11. The Gospel of Luke makes a connection between call and confession when Shimon Peter says he is a sinner and Jesus calls him anyway. Confessing our unworthiness and still heeding the call from God is what is means to be a follower of Christ. We may all feel we are unworthy but God still wants us! God still calls us! God loves us! I choose the lessons from Isaiah and Luke because both mention a call from God and the New Year is always a good time to think about how God is calling us and leading us in the New Year. (Also, it was one of the upcoming readings from the lectionary for the fifth Sunday of Epiphany.) A “call” is a divine summons. You may feel touched by the Holy Spirit or you may have an inner call (“a still small voice” – 1 Kings 19:11-12) or it may be something that you can’t ignore and the Holy Spirit keeps nudging you until you respond. In some cases, a call may come from others who see the gifts you have to serve God. After college, I felt a call to be a missionary. I applied under the Methodist mission board and was accepted so spent two years in Japan working at and living in a children’s home where I worked with children mainly from broken homes and a few of whom who were also orphans. This children’s home was in the outskirts of Tokyo in Machida. (Bott Memorial Home - バット博士記念ホーム). After two years as a missionary from 1980-82, I felt a call to study more theology at seminary and applied. I had originally attended to go only a year to get a Certificate of Theological Studies and then return to Japan once again as a missionary working with social welfare. However, my roommate at the time was a woman named Susan Lyon. Although she was blind and had severe Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, she was gifted with great intelligence and spiritual gifts. So may not have been “whole” psychically but was “whole” spiritually in her relationship with Jesus Christ. She walked with both a cane and a crutch which was not easy in the hills of Berkeley, California and her faith was an inspiration to many of us at the seminary. She helped me to realize my call to become a pastor. Susan said I had gifts for the ministry and gifts in connecting others. I laughed it off at the time. But after I fell ill for a few weeks and it was after I had a spinal tap and was resting and praying in my room, that I heard a voice, “a still small voice” (1 Kings 19:12) calling me to the ministry as a pastor. I changed my studies to the Masters of Divinity (M.Div.) program (a three-year study program to get a masters). Then I started the long and grueling Methodist ordination process shortly. So, in my case, my call was both an “outward call” and an “inward call” which some pastors or perhaps some of us here may have leading us to a vocation. The call to follow Jesus will be different for each of us. John Calvin (a theologian during the Protestant Reformation) said that “once we are elected and called, we will never be lost to God.” (John Calvin for Everyone, Book 3, Chapter 24.) He also said a general call was a call to follow Jesus. We are all called by God through the presence of the Holy Spirit to follow Jesus Christ as disciples. This call may take us down different paths in our life that were not expected. Part of this call is also knowing that, although we may feel inadequate, we are loved by God and we will never be separated from God. (There is nothing in all of creation that “can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ. “- Romans 8:38,39). There might be general calls or specific calls. But we are all called to be followers just as the fishermen/disciples were called. Did they know what lay ahead for them? Did they fully understand their call? Most likely not but they followed Jesus on faith. (“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”– Hebrews 11:1) A call might be something that empowers you or you feel passionate about and perhaps it’s meeting of a particular need in the world around you. This would be your vocation. (“Vocation” comes from the Latin word “vocare” and means the work a person is called to do by God.) Theologian, writer of 39 books, and Presbyterian minister Frederick Buechner defines vocation as the place where “your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” (Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner.) We may hear many voices calling us in different directions but we can discern through prayer, nudges of the Holy Spirit, and help through spiritual mentors or pastors what would be the voice of God calling you. Sometimes the call may be saying stay where you are right now. If you read the same story we read in Luke in the gospel of Matthew, we read that Zebedee, the father of the two fisherman turned disciples James and John, stayed in the boat when the others left to follow Jesus. He may have felt called to stay. Somebody had to stay and clean up all that fish and get it to people who were hungry. And maybe we’re like Zebedee and God calls us to be a witness in whatever job we are doing. When I was living as missionary in the Bott Memorial Children’s Home in Machida in 1981, I had the opportunity to briefly meet and listen to Mother Teresa speak. As we all know, she has spent her life serving the poor in the streets of Calcutta. She gave up everything to do so and as did the Sisters of Charity who worked with her. This was her vocation. God called her to do this ministry. Mother Theresa said in her talk that she often would meet many people who wanted to leave their present situation to go to India to work with her. But she would respond this way; “Stay right here where you are and love the people God has given you to love. Care for the people right where you are.” Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to not have any possessions and to go off somewhere with my husband to a very poor country to live a very simple life to help those in need. But I am called to be a missionary here in Japan. I am called to love the people where I am. If I truly want to follow Jesus, I do not have to leave where I am unless I hear a clear call otherwise. There is plenty to do here. There are plenty of challenges and possibilities to serve. There might be some people who do hear a call to leave their home and go off to do something else. God will call certain peoplefor certain tasks. Simon Peter was one. Part of his call included a name change. His name was changed from Simon to Peter. Peter means the “rock.” (We can call him “Rocky” if we want to.) This change of his name symbolized a change of Simon’s identity for his new call. Simon became Peter. Jesus had met Simon Peter before Jesus had met him again on the lake. You may recall reading in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 8:14–15, Mark 1:29–31, and Luke 4:38–39) that Simon Peter had invited Jesus to eat supper at his home and when Jesus came to Simon Peter's house, Jesus noticed Simon Peter’s mother- in-law lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand and the fever disappeared. After being healed, Peter's mother-in-law showed her gratitude by serving the Jesus and his followers. In today’s story, Jesus is asking Simon Peter to go out again to try to catch fish but Simon Peter says, “Master, we have worked all night long and caught nothing.” Now Jesus isn’t asking Simon Peter to do this just because he’s hungry but this is a call. Simon Peter is hearing from Jesus for him to do a specific task. So they go out and he let down their nets and they catch so many fish that even their nets are tearing and their boat is sinking! Simon Peter’s partners, James and John, have to help and they work together bring in their great haul of fish! (Ministry is also best working together with others.) When Simon Peter saw what had happened, he fell on his knees before Jesus and said, "Go away from me, Lord! I am a sinful man!" … Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will be catching people." (They pulled the boats up on the beach, left everything, and followed Jesus. -- Luke 5:8-11.) Peter kneeling before Jesus confessing his sin. After Simon Peter had made his confession of sin, Jesus gave Simon Peter and his friends a commission. "From now on you will be catching people." After Isaiah had been cleansed of his guilt, he hears the voice of the Lord ask, "Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?" And Isaiah replied, "Here am I. Send me!" God then gives him the task of being messengers to his people. God forgives our sins and let our response be to God, let our response to the love of God be, "Here am I! Send me!" Obedience to God is what we do when we hear God’s call. Simon Peter obeyed and did what Jesus asked him to do. Others in scripture have done the same. Back in December, we read how Mary replied to the angel she was unlikely to have a baby since she did not have husband but she then obeys and answers God’s call to bear God’s son. Ananias, a disciple at Damascus, obeyed God who had called Ananias in a vision, and told him to go meet a man with not a very good reputation among Christians named Saul who later had a name change as well as life change. Saul became the Apostle Paul). Ananias said, “Behold Lord, here I am.” (Acts 9:1-19) With sins forgiven and God's grace in abundance, let our response to the love of God also be, "Here am I! Send me!" We are called to obey when God calls. We are called to trust in faith even when we do not know the outcome. We are called to discipleship and service. Our call to service may take us to meet all kinds of people in all kind of places. Our call is to love one another. Our call is to minister to the needs of others and to alleviate human suffering. Our call is to lead others to Christ in whatever way that might be. There are so many ways to share God’s love and ways to evangelize. Jesus asks us to follow him and his ways. Let us pray. Call us, Lord, and send us to do your will. Amen. Let us pray. Lord let the words of my mouth and meditations of our hearts together this morning be pleasing in your sight. O Lord, fill us with the light of your presence here, now, in this place, so that we meet you. In your holy name we pray, Amen.
If you look around the sanctuary now, it seems like something is missing, doesn’t it? We’re missing our big, beautiful Christmas tree! And we’re missing the advent wreath, with all those colorful candles we spent all last month lighting too. And there’s no more poinsettias, no more figures in the nativity scene that the children put together on Christmas Eve. It’s all gone! But it’s not all gone because we watched a bunch of Marie Kondo on Netflix over the New Year and decided to tidy up/danshari, simplifying the decorations a bit; it’s because we finally have come to the end of the Christmas season. Yes, you heard me correctly; I said the Christmas season. When we think about Christmas, what we tend to focus on is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; the 24th and 25th of December respectively. But actually, in the Christian calendar, Christmas is an entire season covering 12 days. And it starts - not ends - on Christmas Day, lasting all the way until the beginning of the next season, called the Epiphany season. So let’s take a look at the Christian calendar together, shall we? So we just finished the Christmas season today - that’s the season outlined in red, right there - and in this season we celebrated the birth of Jesus, who is God incarnate, which means God made human, born to human parents, and experiencing a human life. Of course now, as you can see, we have moved into the season of Epiphany, and the Epiphany season begins with the story of the Magi’s visit to the baby Jesus, which is what we read about in today’s scripture reading. Take a look at the banner hanging on the wall to your right, the one in the middle there. This beautiful yellow banner was made by one of our church members a long time ago, and it portrays today’s Scripture reading for this Epiphany season. The word Epiphany, for those who don’t know, means the “sudden revelation of something previously hidden; the shining of brighter and clearer light on truths previously unseen.” And the reasons why today’s scripture, the story of the Magi’s visit to the baby Jesus and his family, is referred to as Epiphany, can be explained by the different symbols we see in today’s reading. The first symbol we see is the star, probably the most famous symbol in today’s story. The Magi, who lived far away in the East, saw in the sky a star that looked in some way different from a usual star. These Magi were astrologers of some sort, who looked to the stars in order to understand things happening here on Earth. And this star revealed to them that, “the king of the Jews was born” (Matthew 2:2). Now, if you remember the Christmas story from the perspective of the shepherds, it was an angel who came just to tell them that Jesus had been born (Luke 2:11), but for the Magi it was no angel, but the presence of this new and different star which revealed to them the fact that the king of kings had been born. Another revelation that happens in this story, another epiphany, has to do with what the Magi experience when they encounter the baby Jesus. The Magi, who came from an entirely different country came all the way from the East in search of this newborn king. And after a long journey following this bright and distant star, what happened when they found Jesus? Well…let’s look at the banner again; “And they (that is, the magi) fell down and worshipped him (Jesus).” Once they finally saw this newborn king, the Son of God made flesh, and realized that this wasn’t a prince in silks and fine clothes, warm and surrounded by nursemaids and servants but a baby wrapped in a simple swaddle, born to poor parents, lying in a manger; when they saw this they must have realized the humbleness of God, and their entire worldview changed in that moment, moving them to worship the God who had just been revealed to them in their moment of epiphany. Just from these two revelations in today’s reading, I cannot stop thinking about how gentle and thorough our God really is. God revealed the divine presence to the Magi in a way that they could understand and relate to. The Magi may not have known much about the faith of the people of Israel, but they knew a lot about stars, so when God came into the world, that divine presence was revealed to them through the star that they found. And even when they got lost, even when they couldn’t figure out exactly where Jesus was, it was the star that guided them to the manger in the end. (Matthew 2:9-10) As we know, God works through all things, placing people and events in our lives to provide us with the opportunity to better know, and more deeply experience a relationship with God. It was the star that drew the Magi closer to God, which brought them to that moment of epiphany at the manger. For me, it was my pastor who showed me Christlike love and care, leading me into a closer relationship with God. When I spent time with my pastor in the early days of my faith, it was easy to imagine who God was to me; a good listener, kind, accepting, and loving. And it was through that understanding that I started to want to know more about God. I remember very well those first few years after I became a Christian. I felt as bright as the star that the Magi saw in the sky! My conversion to Christianity had truly changed me; the personal connection I had found with God, the warmth and love I received from God, truly saved me. I could feel God’s presence so close to me, radiating from within me in a way that could only come from God. I felt loved. I felt whole. I was at peace with God. I wish I could say that things stayed like that. I wish I could say that throughout my Christian life things have been good, and I have always been in love and at peace with God. But I am no perfect Christian, and there have been seasons where my faith has stagnated; where I felt distant from God, where I felt like I had lost that closeness and intimacy I once experienced with God. When I say my faith stagnated, I don’t mean to say it disappeared, but there were times when I didn’t feel that God was revealing anything to me, where that dialogue, that bond between me and God had cooled and quieted. In those seasons what I was experiencing was very much the opposite of an Epiphany, that encounter with Godly revelation. Instead, what I experienced in those times was a sense of stagnation. As with all of us, I have experienced this several times throughout my Christian life, but when I think about it the first thing that always comes to mind is the time, just after we were married, when Don and I lived in Tokyo. After graduating from college in Michigan, Don and I moved to Tokyo as missionaries, with Don having been assigned to a Christian high school to teach English and Bible. In those days, I had a clear goal in mind, a precise idea of exactly what I wanted to have in life. I wanted STABILITY. What I wanted was for life to start to make sense. I wanted to see clear and steady progress in our life together as husband and wife, and to begin growing our family from there. As a wife, I was firm in the understanding that my role must be to support Don so that he would thrive in his career as a teacher and a missionary. I was convinced that through this, we would be able to have a stable life, and even start talking about having children. Don’s superior at the school at the time advised us that the best way to secure that stability would be for Don to get a graduate degree in education, so that his current job would be more secure, and better options might open up in the future. So, following his advice, we used some of Don’s salary so that he could start going to graduate school. As anyone who has gone to school while also holding a full-time job and/or supporting a family can tell you, it is not easy to work, study, and take care of your family all at the same time. But Don worked hard, and I worked hard to support him too. I would say that we both worked very hard, and were very diligent in what we did. And, thanks be to God, that hard work paid off. Don finished his program, and earned a Master’s degree in Education. “Oh wow,” I thought to myself, “Now our life is secure! We can start a family, start returning to things in our life that we had placed on hold!” I accepted the fact that this was going to be the place where we would settle down, that this was where we were going to put down roots. We had found a wonderful church to attend, and we had really connected with our church family there. We had friends, community, comfort, and what looked like safety and security. But despite all my expectations, despite all our hard work and delicate planning, life didn’t turn out to be stable at all. Despite Don’s supervisor’s suggestion, a graduate degree didn’t make his job more secure at all and, rather than staying in Tokyo and putting down roots, we moved back to the States and went to Seminary instead. That was a moment that I realized that all the plans I had been building were falling apart. And in that space, I had an epiphany of my own. Despite the fear and panic I would have expected to feel - that I very much did feel later on, I probably should admit - in that moment I only felt a calm sense of assurance in my heart and mind. This moment, this feeling of 納得 came as I realized that things were not turning out the way I had planned, but were turning out the way they were supposed to be. The door I had been knocking on so diligently and persistently had remained closed not because I didn’t work hard enough or because I hadn’t been faithful enough, but because it wasn’t a door I was meant to knock on in the first place. The future I had been building and planning for wasn’t something that God had intended to be. I had done everything I could to make things happen in the way that I thought was right, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make something happen that wasn’t in God’s plan. Because no matter how hard I might work, God remains in control. King Herod also had a plan too, and his plan was to stay in power as king for as long as he possibly could. So he did everything he could think of in order to make that happen, to protect his power and his position. When he learned from the Magi that a child had been born who would be King of the Jews, he gathered together all those who could possibly tell him where this newborn king might be; calling all the chief priests and scribes. (Matthew 2:4) And as soon as he learned from them that this newborn king must, according to the prophecy, be in Bethlehem, he told the Magi to go there, to search diligently for this king, and to return to him after they had found him (Matthew 2:8). Though he claimed to want to honor the king as they did, his real plan was to kill Jesus, so he could make sure that his power, his plans for the future, were stable. And when he realized that the Magi did not do as he had asked (Matthew 2:16), he ordered all the children in the area who could be around Jesus’ age killed, just to make sure that Jesus could never threaten the stability and security of his reign. But as you know, just as I learned when we had to move back to America, no matter how hard we try to make security and stability happen for ourselves, no plan can work out if it isn’t in accordance with God’s will. And just like that, God appeared to Joseph - Jesus’ father - in a dream and told him to move his family to Egypt, so they would be safe when Herod slaughtered all the infants in the region (Matthew 2:13) Now you might think that the Magi are not at all like King Herod. After all, they saw the star, and faithfully followed it to find Jesus. Unlike Herod they understood who Jesus was to them, and why he was important. They knew Jesus was the true Lord and King, which is why they did not offer gifts to Herod, but saved them until they had come before Jesus to give homage. But even knowing all of that, they still didn’t know where exactly to go to find Jesus. Just like King Herod tried to use all his human might, effort, and diligence to make things happen in his way and in his time, the Magi also tried to pursue Jesus with nothing more than their own, human wisdom. And in that human wisdom, they figured that whoever was in power must know the truth. So they trusted power and went to King Herod - the seat of all worldly power and authority in the region - to ask him if he knew where Jesus was. The epiphany moment came for the Magi after that, when they realized that King Herod knew just almost as little about where to find Jesus as they did, and ordered them to find the king on his behalf. And when they went out from Herod’s presence, they saw again the star, going ahead of them and guiding them to Jesus. (Matthew 2:9) They just had to look for the divine light, and follow it to the prince of Peace. And, in doing that, they followed the star all the way until it stopped where Jesus was. Entering the house there, Magi met the baby Jesus. They knelt down and paid homage to the king that they had been shown, rather than the king their own force of will had guided them to. (Matthew 2:10-11) We might not be as aggressive as Herod was, or as deliberate and intentional in killing the plans God has for our lives, but when we lean on our own knowledge and will, and forget to surrender to God’s wisdom first, we can easily wind up like the Magi did first; in the court of the wrong king. Many of you know that I struggle with depression; it's something I have talked about a few times before because, for better or worse, it’s always been a part of who I am. And I have talked about how, with God’s help, I have accepted and embraced that part of myself, because I could see how God was using that depression to show the goodness of God to me and the people around me. But, in the last several months, that depression started to get worse, and I was feeling overwhelmed. So, for the first time, I went to see a psychiatrist, and my psychiatrist told me that depression isn’t necessarily something to be struggled with, but is actually quite treatable. And…he was right. Within a few weeks, I started to feel much better; my brain fog started to clear up, and I regained a great deal of the energy, joy, appreciation and gratitude I felt had been missing from my life. I felt restored; more present in my own life, and the life of my family and my community than I had in a long time. For years, I thought that by learning to live with depression, I could continue to serve as a testament to the goodness and love of our caring God but, looking back on it now, I see that what I was really doing was relying just on my own will, trying to force the one epiphany I had with God way back in the beginning - But what was actually needed here wasn’t to try to make things happen according to the God I knew then, but by the constantly growing, changing, personal relationship I have with God day by day, and moment by moment. Learning to embrace myself was an epiphany back then, but after years of embracing and accepting myself it wasn’t an epiphany anymore. I needed help in an entirely different way, and I was refusing that help because I was being prideful, wanting to say that my faith in God was so strong that I didn’t need any help. So I let that pride go. I knelt down before God and asked for help, and then I listened to see how God wanted to help me this time, now, in this situation. And instead of telling me to keep fighting, to keep forcing my understanding and my experience onto the situation, God instead revealed and guided me to a doctor who showed me a better way to handle my struggles. And this was my epiphany; relying on experts who know so much more than I, relying on other people who can see better paths than I can, solutions I could never dream of, is a gift given to me by God. What plans, ideas, convictions, or past experiences do you need to let go of, so that you can experience moments of epiphany where you can meet God personally, and connect intimately with our almighty Creator? Now that the new year has started, some of you might have already made a new year’s resolution; a goal to pursue this year. You might have even started laying out concrete steps to achieve that goal. But even as we lay out the path before us, we should not lose sight of our moments of Epiphany. That same divine light that guided the Magi shines in our own lives today. Sometimes we might miss that star, and get lost because our hearts and minds are too crowded with our own willful ideas, our own plans, our own wants and desires shaped by what we think we know. We go boldly down our own paths, missing the lesson of Proverbs 9:10 which tells us that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of the wisdom.” We are not authors and editors of our lives. God is. We need to surrender, kneel down before God and let go of our own knowledge and convictions, and practice turning our eyes to that bright and shining star which is the loving, welcoming presence and guidance of almighty God. KUC family, don’t miss that epiphany moment. It’s there. It’s been given to everyone, a guiding star to help us along this long and challenging journey through life with our God. If we set aside our own judgment, and follow that star with open hearts, ears to listen, and spirits ever seeking the will of our Creator, we will find our way right to where we’re supposed to be; kneeling in worship right at the feet of the newborn king. Let us pray. Dear Lord, please reveal to us all those places in our lives, and in the life of the church, where we do not fear you, do not trust you, do not lean upon you, and instead put our trust in powers and princes, and other things that are not of you. Loving and merciful God, please reveal to us all those places where we rely on our own knowledge and convictions instead of inviting you into our lives, putting you first above all else. Please show us the light of your shining star, guiding us to come back to you, to follow again in your ways. Amen. |
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